I texted a friend to get a "casual drink" last night. I say "casual drink" because he's in a messy relationship and I don't need anybody to think that I'm trying to Marilyn their Jackie. We even picked a divey straight bar for the one-and-done beer so that any potential of romance would be void.
Everybody knows that as soon as you plan for boredom, you'll be slapped in the face with crazy.
I made sure to wear the tightest shorts and most colorful print top I had because although I was going to a dive bar, I wanted everyone to know I was there. I was just around the corner when my friend alerted me he had arrived. As I walked in the door, I saw him at the end of the bar sitting next to a flamboyantly dressed Asian woman.
Great. He brought a friend. Even less to worry about. There's nothing like a third wheel to run over Marilyn.
I perched atop the third bar stool and suddenly I realized that he and the woman hanging off of his arm had never met before. Her drooping eyelids covered in sparkly blue eye shadow told me she had been there for quite some time.
I ordered a beer and buckled up. This was going to escalate quickly.
I couldn't hear her name, but that was OK because it was displayed on her wrist in rhinestones. Within five minutes, I changed that to a potential for diamonds. She launched into her history in the fashion industry, citing close relationships with Karl Lagerfeld and Marc Jacobs. She had spent a few years as a fashion photographer, but now worked in the mundane reality of Corporate America. The instability and party potential of the fashion world became too much when she began to find herself waking up naked, covered in glitter.
Though she is less naked now, she is still covered in glitter.
Somehow, she managed to meet the love of her life naked and covered in glitter. He is or is not her boyfriend. I wasn't really sure where their relationship landed by the end of the night, especially since new beers kept appearing in front of me every time she pulled a wad of cash from her self-proclaimed $500 bag.
As soon as she started to announce her drunkenness out loud, I thought we were in trouble. Luckily, she was a regular and the bar staff gave a knowing smirk and nod every time I braced myself for the escort out.
When she started repeating stories, I knew we were going downhill fast and was glad I had buckled my seat belt. Then, she returned to Karl Lagerfeld.
"When I first started as a photographer, I met Karl Lagerfeld - who is very...what's the word...blunt. He looked at me and he said, 'You look boring, but you are not boring. You are unique. Why do let yourself look boring? You do not look like other people and you are not other people so stop trying to be other people. Emphasize your uniqueness.' That's when I started to be myself. I am unique darling!"
She made a few comments and gestures to the "White Americans" in the bar, but she and Karl Lagerfeld had already given me everything I needed.
The four beers and shot of Jameson inside me reached out to hold her hand. "Thank you," I said. "Even though you won't remember me tomorrow and I'm sure you do this to a lot of young gay boys, thank you. You were exactly what I needed right now."
When she got up to leave, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "Darling, I can tell you have passion and you will make it happen."
With that, she was gone.
I woke up this morning and imagined I was naked, covered in glitter. I felt reborn.
Emphasize your uniqueness,
TJB: Making It
Not until your belongings are in piles and it's after midnight do you really believe that you're moving. I remember every time I've moved - and I have at least once every year since freshman dorms - saying, "I NEVER want to do that again!"
