Bros b4 Broadway

Tonight I had dinner with one of my best friends.

I don't have anything snarky or cutting to say about it (GASP). I've just realized even in my short week here how important it is to keep such genuinely caring people close. I am reminded daily how blessed and lucky I am to have such amazing people right there next to me. If anybody deserves a shout-out, it's this guy.

Friends are the people who make you feel like you've already made it, and will love you just as much even if you don't.

I should've had a salad,

TJB: Making It

That Time I Auditioned for That Show That Won That Award Because That Agent Sent Me

Some crazy things have happened in the past 36 hours.

Basically, I sent an e-mail, I got a response, then another response with an audition appointment, then I ended up in some agent's office and off to audition for probably the biggest show I could've auditioned for short of Glee.

I would tell you what the show was, but that just feels redundant...

So there I was on the Subway wishing I was eating Subway (because I had only allowed myself to eat push-ups and crunches for the past two days) off to this audition I had no business being at my first week in NYC.

I had no trouble finding the building because what actor doesn't know where the Broadway shows audition? I trekked my amateur ass up to the 16th floor, rounded the corner and BAM...an F15 alumni awaited. You should know F15 is EVERYWHERE. My panicked voice whispered in his ear to point me to the check-in table. Like a true bro, he kept me calm and I took up the pen to find:

AGENT/REPRESENTATION:

Oh...well...that's a very good question you see because I was indeed sent here by an agent but I'm not exactly sure whether or not he counts as my agent and whether or not anybody is representing me at the moment. I didn't want to douche out and write my own name next to my own name so I used parenthesis like a true newbie would.

I sat down to quench my dry throat and realized...I FORGOT MY WATER BOTTLE! Immediately I remembered leaving my Aquafina water bottle on my coffee table. I took this as a sign from God. How DARE I attempt to bring in an Aquafina water bottle to a Broadway audition (see previous posts)?! I let my desert-throat suffer.

I planned on sitting in peace until I found out the boy next to me was named Chatty Cathy and amidst his yoga stretching wanted to know everything about my day. I tried to pretend like he'd achieved at shaking me up and all I could do was sit with my head in my hands and cry. He informed me he was singing the same cut of the same song for his audition, but he wasn't scared to follow me. I pretended to be relieved I was going first.

Let's just say I stuck around to find he had decided to change his song during my audition.

I won't tell you what happened in the room because I find that sacred. All I know is that I'm stuck on some weird plateau. I'm not sure if it goes up or down from here. I'm in a strange limbo.

So I ask you to pray. Whatever religion you are (and especially those of the appropriate religion): PRAY.

Fiji next time I promise,

TJB: Making It

YOU HEARD ME

My sister sent me this as motivation for my life. She knows what's up.

6 Days Does Not a Week Make Me a Star

I found my second first audition. Luckily, I'd been to the building before to audition for the Norwegian Cruise Line. Luckily, the Norwegian Cruise Line never offered me a job.

I would tell you all about what the audition was for, but they asked us at the callback

-oh that's right I should mention I got a callback, but I'm going to try and pretend like I wasn't surprised it happened-

they asked us at the callback not to post anything about the show online, as it is already receiving a lot of press and hype and they want to make an official press release about the cast since the cast is going to be BIG...which is probably why I have yet to hear back.

Regardless of the outcome and the assumed loss of an approximated $300 stipend, on my third full day in NYC I experienced what my future would be like, and it is exactly how the movies portray it.

"OMG YOU! WHY are we always being called back for the same roles? (because you're Asian) Damn girl you are lookin GOOD! Do you even eat?!"

and they're serious. They're all about what your 32 bars are, are never happy with how the callbacks are being run, always have a more important place to be, and don't even THINK about singing in a room near them or they will critique your vibrato and pitch until you bleed.

So here I am among my fellow star wannabes who have just finished their tours of Miss Saigon and remember their glory days as a cover in the Spring Awakening tour for 3 weeks while I can only dream of such greatness, sipping my Poland Spring water amongst bottles of Fiji.

In the mean time, I start work at a beautiful little production company from across the pond (that means England) called threesixty entertainment. Maybe it's called 360 Entertainment, or maybe three-sixty...or maybe I'll just ask tomorrow.

For now...

I dream of Fiji,

TJB: Making It

My First New York Audition

Forget about the gays, I had my first New York audition this morning!

Well...sort of.

I decided last night I would forgo my celebratory Friday of Pride and marriage equality to get up early for an open call. I normally wouldn't show my face so early in Manhattan as one may question my socialite status for not being hungover, but I was feeling very optimistic as of late.

I wanted to show up early, so I trekked down to my favorite, the 1 train, took it to Penn Station, climbed the urine and bile covered stairs, and jaunted to 36th Street. I found the building with no problem, breezed past the doorman who gives me that "OMG you're so confident I should know you but forgot your name and I'm embarrassed so I'll let you pass" look

and arrived at the 5th floor.

the empty 5th floor.

I checked every door to see only signs for textile or graphic design businesses. I frantically checked my schedule book and saw that I indeed had written down "5th floor". There I stood in a lonely corridor of cold, dark tile. With my tail between my legs, I exited the building and crawled back to Penn Station...adding my own urine to the stairs this time in self-pity.

As I arrived back on 83rd I thought "Who cares? I probably would have been typed out anyway."

OH EXCEPT THE CHARACTER DESCRIPTION WAS PRACTICALLY A PICTURE OF ME WITH MY BIO ATTACHED!

As I sit down at my computer to tell you this tragic story of career beginnings, I now see that the audition was on the 3rd floor.

Take the stairs kids.

I'm off to get gay married,

TJB: Making It

I Made It...to New York...

Just when I thought I'd escaped the torture of rural Michigan, God (the alleged/proverbial God although I'll capitalize it out of fear that he actually exists) placed me in Atlanta, GA. What a beautiful airport. Wendy's. Seattle's Best. A digestive-track-tormenter called Moe's. I was in heaven for an hour...and then 2...and then suddenly it became hell 5 hours later. I kept my sunglasses on the entire 5 hours with my Ralph Lauren hood up and looked as disgruntled as possible...a celebrity in distress.

But now as I sit here in the Starbucks on 43rd and 9th next to...an unspecified gender of a being...I know I've arrived in the Big Apple. Fame is just on the other side of the street. No, really, I think I see a Kardashian.

On my first day here, I've already been to a fitting for my first of many (or probably 3) fashion shows. I showed up 5 minutes early to Macy's Herald Square...to find they wouldn't let me in until 10 anyway. I strutted up to the 3rd floor with all my swagger -

OMG YOU F-ING BROOKLYN BARISTA SHUT YOUR MOUTH

...excuse me.

- I strutted up to the 3rd floor with all my swagger over to the fitting rooms, knowing I was going to get to take home with me a beautiful designer outfit after the show. I approached two stunning stylists to praise such as "oh you would be in our show". And then they said it...

"Tyler, you're going to be the 'easy' boy". I thought they were referring to the simplicity of clothing an adonis such as myself. She said "No...you're look is called 'easy'". Then she held up my designer Ralph Lauren outfit...

I was swimwear.

OH SURE I get to wear a cute lime green hoodie unzipped 3/4 of the way down my white pasty chest, but my ghostly legs and feet are out in the open underneath those sensible navy trunks! And let's not forget that I'll be the boy announced as EASY.

I had SO better get Johnny Weir's number out of this.

Starving and bronzing,

TJB: Making It

Regretfully they tell us, but firmly they compel us

Well, I graduated. As I am a true thespian, you can imagine the wide range of feelings that were emoted this weekend. Screaming in the middle of bars, sobbing into the sleeve of a purple robe...you name it, I felt it. And the paparazzi were going wild to document my downfall.

I have a degree. I'm still not exactly sure what that means. I also have a "Musical Theatre Certificate" which was superbly created on Microsoft Word and signed with what I guess to be a blue fine-tip washable crayola marker...perhaps cerulean if it was from a 24-pack.

Let me tell you, my ass could not pack up and get out of NU any faster. I could feel the increased competition and panic as we were no longer classmates but colleagues sprinting towards Broadway and tripping each other at dance calls. We convinced each other "That was a GREAT picture" when we knew your eyes were closed and you looked completely smashed and we will probably e-mail it to every casting director in New York. So I placed my two pieces of HP high-quality printer paper into my purple pleather folder and sped away.


So now I write to you from my childhood home (that's what they'll call it on my E! THS so I should too).

and I miss it. I admit it...I miss Northwestern University and misleadingly ghetto Evanston, IL. But most of all, I miss the people. I miss those talented two-faced tramps with their uncontrolled vibrato and dropped gestures. I miss watching them sing songs completely inappropriate for their age range and character type and lacking solid focal points during their monologues...

because you were great. You were all truly superb and I am honored to be your peer...and you really did look great in the photo.

but I'm not posting it on Facebook because I didn't.

So cheers to you future stars of New York, and LA...and whatever kind of fame you can achieve in Chicago too...

I'll see you on the red carpet,

TJB: Making It