The Graduation That Wasn't

For centuries, young, tall, attractive, and slightly larger-headed graduates have all been put through the same torture:

the mortarboard

that stupid little shit of a hat that NOBODY and I mean NOBODY looks good in...except that gorgeous brunette who somehow even makes her gown look like it has a flattering waistline. #hateher #skinnybitch


So I'm warning the paparazzi and future tabloids now: THERE WILL BE NO PICTURES OF ME WEARING THAT STUPID HAT

I will gladly toss it into the air upon the command of Stephen Colbert, but I will NOT allow myself to be photographed in it.

So People Magazine, Entertainment Tonight and TMZ, send out your paps and just try to get a picture of me.

.............no really please somebody take my picture.

My left is my good side,

TJB: Making It