Whatever happened to FUN!?

I currently own three pairs of shoes in which the right shoe only has half of the sole attached.

Talk about pounding the pavement.

So on Sunday night when I received a text from my agent-who-is-increasingly-my-agent to attend a celebrity book premiere, my first thought was of course...

"I have to buy new shoes".

My second thought was

"Wait...what?...ME?"

and my third thought was

"OF COURSE ME!"

This is the moment I had been waiting for! Finally I would be amongst my peers (including that little pixie boy who won Project Runway and that gay from Bravo...yeah that one...no, the Jewish one...). I felt like I was in 5th grade again at the cool kids lunch table with people I never talked to but knew I was expected to be friends with.

My dreams were unfolding. All I needed in life was a room full of "celebrities" and an open bar...oh just champagne? What kind of champagne? I've never heard of that...

OK, well...

All I needed in life was a room full of "celebrities" and some free off-brand champagne.

I guess that's what you get when the memoir is about a recovering addict...

Don't worry kids, the book premiere of Making It will have a full open bar...unless I've been to rehab in the next year...

which is likely if I keep being rejected by Disney.

DON'T YOU KNOW I GAVE YOU MY CHILDHOOD?!

BRB I have to practice some showtunes on the trombone,

TJB: Making It