An Off Ending

Yesterday, I was berated by a group of three adults who were severely aggravated about the miniscule portion of lobster on their sandwich. I tried to care, I really did, but when it's 1pm in Los Angeles on the first day of Fall, and I only know that because Ryan Seacrest said it on the radio, and I realize that I might never experience a real change of seasons again, and then I have to slap on an apron to serve you a Cosmo which you ordered "extra cold" followed by a Bacardi and Coke "light on the ice," and I'm only here because I think I have potential to be a great writer - and I actually know a lot about the cost of lobster - I have a hard time taking you seriously.

So, yeah, they didn't tip me very well.

But hey, I'm now officially a full-time server, so when I turn 26 and am tossed from the healthcare safety blanket of my parents, I can always drive to Mexico to get cheap dental work.

My 8th grade English teacher taught us about "Good intentions, no follow through." We had all signed up to write a My American Hero essay for an American Legion competition, but nobody had turned one in three days before the deadline. I, not wanting to lack follow through, spent hours perfecting a poetic piece on Franklin D. Roosevelt. I lost to a girl whose grandfather survived the Holocaust.

Now, I'm in LA writing my American Dream realizing I'm competing with a new breed whose circumstances make the essay easier. People who eat lobster and drink Cosmos on a Tuesday lunch break.

I'm not saying that girl only won because of her grandfather, but she did tell me her real hero was Emily Dickinson. Boy, was I surprised to read that final draft.

Is this making sense?

There are some people who have to take the stairs to follow through, and there are some people who were given a key to the elevator. Yes, it's incredibly unfortunate that the best example I could give involved the Holocaust juxtaposed with eating lobster, but I'm trying to show that you can't help the pre-existing circumstances life handed you. You can only choose how to use them for the greatest outcome. Or, lie about your hero and then turn in a real ringer.

I'm saying, having to wait tables is my personal Holocaust, but one day, I will use that experience and follow my dreams through to the place where I eat lobster sandwiches. And if I am displeased with that lobster sandwich, I will remember the struggle and just be grateful I can afford lobster sandwiches, because that's what I signed up for.

OK no, this is bad. I'm sorry everyone, forget I said anything. I had a very Benadryl night's sleep.

Her essay was moving,

TJB: Making It