Eat, Pray, LA

The first rule of LA is: you do not talk about LA.

That's a play on a quote from a movie I never saw. Only because I don't think Brad Pitt plays as good of a Tyler as I do.

Really, I've just been terrified somebody would take the time to Google me in the three weeks it takes them to tell me I didn't get the job, so I kept my mouth shut. But aside from a few LinkedIn views, I don't think anybody's knocking on the door of my skeleton-filled closet.

So I'm not a publicist's assistant. So I'm not working for Disney (although they're still within their three week rejection window.) At least I've met some cool people. Hey, I met that guy who wrote Easy A. It's the only DVD I've purchased in the past decade. Unfortunately, I thought everybody was joking when they said he was the guy who wrote Easy A. I thought that was a really funny joke, but now I'm full of fangirl regret. I didn't even know it was actually his birthday.

I should be more perceptive at parties.

I also had lunch at Paramount Studios with the girl who buys groceries for Blacklist. There's something very humbling for all parties involved when a man is admiring the life of a girl who describes her job as, "I buy groceries for the writers at Blacklist." And you - as a normal nobody - have no idea how important and coveted that job is. She'll be a big name in no time.

Hollywood.

What I've learned from meeting all of these celebrities is that there is more to life than what our work is. In the moment, what we're doing feels consuming, important, appropriately Paramount. Years, months, even just hours later, the groceries are consumed, the DVDs reduced price, and the studio lots left. Celebrities and writers are just as excited to leave work as the rest of America.

It's everything else, like the amazing salad I made and the annoying texts my mom sends me about flu shots and the birthday parties full of incomplete six packs (I swear I'll bring a better gift next time) that really matter. We do so much more than what we do. You know? At least, that's what I think.

And maybe that's why my boyfriend rolled his eyes when I tried to give career advice, and maybe that's why my YouTube videos only get 45 views, and maybe that's why I can only afford Captain Crunch for dinner. But I still think I'm pretty cool, pretty OK.

I'm also totally still banking on being famous though, so, take this with a grain of delusional salt.

Wanna be my agent,

TJB: Making It