Of Dads and Sons

TV-5 Best of the Class 07. Dad is crying because he's so proud.

I was raised by a psychologist, so I blame pretty much everything on that. But I also credit almost everything I am and have achieved to that same man.

My dad is probably the best dad a boy could ask for, especially a boy like me. He took me to dance class every week, then drove me to swimming lessons, then to piano, then to baseball, basketball, soccer, track, play rehearsal, and on and on and on. My dad never missed a game or recital, and though he worked through quite a few family dinners, he always came home with a smile.

And he always says, "I love you."

The J of TJB is for him. James. I started using my middle initial in 4th grade when I decided I was going to be famous. I thought I should include a piece of my dad as a way to thank him for giving me so much. Since I'll never be able to thank him enough, the J will stay forever.

When you're gay, everybody wants to know your coming out story. Was it hard? How did your parents take it? How did your dad take it? Did you have an absent father? Oh, your father is a psychologist, so he must have been fine with it, right?

I think it's hard to raise a son you feel so close to for 17 years and then find out there was a piece he was ashamed to share with you. Sure, I could be a pretty flamboyant little shit, and I don't think anybody was surprised, but I still don't think my dad expected it. Why would you ever expect your kids to keep a secret from you? I remember feeling kind of stupid when it was all over. I almost wanted to go back to my first dance class, give him a high kick and say, "DAD, I'm gay, now get in the car, I have a game to win."

Years later, my dad has had dinner with countless boyfriends, gives great relationship advice, and even humors a more liberal discussions of politics (though we both still would've liked to see McCain with a worthy running mate). In the 24 years I've known him, he's been my best friend. And I'm surprised because I once woke him up to smack him in the face with a wooden spoon. Oh, to be 3 again.

But Dad also keeps me humble. My dad gave me one piece of advice that I repeat daily:

"We are legends in our own minds."

I remember that even though I am to receive an abundance of fame and glory, at the end of the day we are living for ourselves and the world will go on with or without us. So just live.

I think my parents should have had more children. This world would be lucky to have a few more little Jims running around.

I'm about to head to the roof for a beer. I'll be holding it up towards lake Michigan to cheers you, Jimbo.

I love you Dad,

TJB: Making It