There was a time when it was all about who you know. Now, it's all about who you know knowing more who. You know?I have had more networking meetings in LA set up by friends than I have had meetings with my friends. So far, they've resulted in me being great at finding street parking in West Hollywood and ignoring my bladder's begging while I nurse a drink for two hours.
Listen, my friends all know I have a tract more active than a pregnant woman with twins, but I can't let that be my first impression to the people who could shape my career. Pregnant women pee a lot, right? I'm basing this off of one time when a pregnant woman pleaded to use my restaurant's restroom, and I pointed her to some public restrooms outside. Equality, am I right?
Last night, I spent ninety minutes crossing my legs praying I wouldn't wet myself in front of Young Hollywood. Just when I thought I had an opportunity to casually excuse myself for the facilities, the Pretty Agent Girl mentioned how perfectly I captured the tone of Mindy Kaling's characters. I couldn't just say, "Thanks, she's my hero. Excuse me, I have to pee." I tried, but once I realized the Future Network Exec had also read my material and loved it (I mean, I could skip taking Benadryl to sleep for a night loved it), I was trapped.
Eventually, I had to do what anybody who wants to impress important people and end while they're ahead (read: pre-pissing-own-pants) would do. I paid for their drinks, told them how amazing they were for two minutes past desperate, and bee-lined it for the bathroom as soon as their backs were turned.
I didn't even lock the door. But it might have been a multi-person restroom anyway. You can never tell these days.
I think they liked me,
TJB: Making It
