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| "From you, I learned to be me." |
I had started to draft a really meaningful post about how much she inspires me, and how if I could only be half the woman she is today I could be America's Next Drag Superstar...but I was too hungover for anything quality.
Happy Mother's Day
Instead, I decided to give you my TOP 5 MONICA MOMENTS. Are they really the best five moments I've ever had with my mom? Probably not. But these are a special five moments that will give America an inside glance into our special relationship, and show you just why I love her so much.
1. I was probably 6 years old, though I told everyone I was 16. I thought that joke was hilarious. I also thought it would be hilarious too "moon" my mom as I passed by her in the kitchen. I said, "Hey Mom, this is for you," and flashed her my cheeks. Her hand shot out so fast to slap my ass, I was in awe. "You pansy ass," she said with a distinct frankness. Monica will never be caught off guard. No 6 year old has ever laughed harder.
2, My parents always came to kiss us goodnight when we were younger. Sometimes, I would make my mom crawl into bed with me when I was upset about something. When I was 7, this always happened the night before a piano lesson. If you knew my piano teacher and my need for perfection, you would understand. So, every Thursday night my mom would plan to lay next to me while I cried and cried. When the day came that I stopped crying about piano lessons, my mom crawled into bed next to me and asked, "How do you get through the hard stuff?" I said, "Mom, I just realized that eventually, everything has to be over. Even the bad things." She still tells me that tip inspires her daily. I guess I peaked at 7.
3. It was my junior year of high school and I had recently come out to my family (as gay...in case that was unclear). My sister had recently started dating a new boy. None of us had met him yet, but he was reportedly a big hunter/fisher type. My family was in the kitchen as my sister waited nervously for him to come up the driveway. As soon as we saw his pick-up truck roll in, my mom shouted at me, "Quick! Go put on your rainbow beads and give him a parade!" That's how I knew everything was going to be OK.
4. My dad and I came home from an errand run and went around to the pool where we had left my mother doing yard work. We didn't see her anywhere. All we saw was a hedge trimmer and a trail of blood. We panicked. We shouted for her to no response. Surely, she had been murdered. We followed the trail of blood into the house, down the hallway, and into a bathroom where we found my mother curled up on the floor cradling her hand, barely able to speak. She had caught her pinky finger on the blade. Not chopped off, but just the tip of the finger was gashed open. I don't know why I laughed so hard, and I felt like a terrible son...but there was so much blood. I left my father to deal with it. Don't worry, she still has a fully functioning pinky.
5. I came home for spring break my freshman year of college. It was that awkward stage at 19 when you were slowly discovering what your relationship with your parents was becoming now that you didn't live at home. No conversation about college ever touched what happens after 5PM. As I helped prepare Easter dinner and the conversation between my mother and I lulled to an awkward silence, she came from the fridge, sat a bottle of wine down on the counter next to two glasses and said, "Let's stop pretending. Cork it."
I love you Mom,
TJB: Making It
