Just when I thought I'd escaped the torture of rural Michigan, God (the alleged/proverbial God although I'll capitalize it out of fear that he actually exists) placed me in Atlanta, GA. What a beautiful airport. Wendy's. Seattle's Best. A digestive-track-tormenter called Moe's. I was in heaven for an hour...and then 2...and then suddenly it became hell 5 hours later. I kept my sunglasses on the entire 5 hours with my Ralph Lauren hood up and looked as disgruntled as possible...a celebrity in distress.
But now as I sit here in the Starbucks on 43rd and 9th next to...an unspecified gender of a being...I know I've arrived in the Big Apple. Fame is just on the other side of the street. No, really, I think I see a Kardashian.
On my first day here, I've already been to a fitting for my first of many (or probably 3) fashion shows. I showed up 5 minutes early to Macy's Herald Square...to find they wouldn't let me in until 10 anyway. I strutted up to the 3rd floor with all my swagger -
OMG YOU F-ING BROOKLYN BARISTA SHUT YOUR MOUTH
...excuse me.
- I strutted up to the 3rd floor with all my swagger over to the fitting rooms, knowing I was going to get to take home with me a beautiful designer outfit after the show. I approached two stunning stylists to praise such as "oh you would be in our show". And then they said it...
"Tyler, you're going to be the 'easy' boy". I thought they were referring to the simplicity of clothing an adonis such as myself. She said "No...you're look is called 'easy'". Then she held up my designer Ralph Lauren outfit...
I was swimwear.
OH SURE I get to wear a cute lime green hoodie unzipped 3/4 of the way down my white pasty chest, but my ghostly legs and feet are out in the open underneath those sensible navy trunks! And let's not forget that I'll be the boy announced as EASY.
I had SO better get Johnny Weir's number out of this.
Starving and bronzing,
TJB: Making It
hahahah!!!!
ReplyDeletelove it. and you.
knock em dead.
xoxox