home is where the heart is SHOT

I just spent a few days back at Northwestern University doing what I do best

wishing I was in college again.

I had this weird experience of being torn between my adult friends with their adult jobs and adult schedules and adult relationships

juxtaposed against

my college friends with their college parties and college problems and college "relationships"

and I realized once again:

The "real world" is just a bunch of people who are angry college is over.

I'm one of them.

Although when my week of paradise ended today and I boarded my puddle-jumper airplane to Dayton, Ohio where I will spend the next two months dancing, singing, and playing the trombone while saying sassy one-liners

I began to question if there even IS a "real world"...at least one that I'll ever be a part of...

Fast forward to meeting my cast members where I'm reminded my first impressions are always made questionably.

Me: Hi, I'm Tyler.
Girl: Nice to meet you.
Me: You're like...REALLY pretty...

and I don't even remember if there was a retort because suddenly I was Regina George circa 2004 and had luckily just paused my computer speakers from blasting "Call Me Maybe" for the 15th time in a row.

Still, somehow I managed to target myself as "THAT guy" once again.

 But I was set up! My roommate and pretty-girl-whose-name-I-can't-remember-because-I-keep-calling-her-pretty-girl had flown here together and spent hours getting to know each other before they burst in on me in the midst of a Carly Rae Jepsen dance session with their chummy smiles and unexpected good looks...

A SET UP I TELL YOU!

But they invited me to Trader Joe's anyway...which is when I began to question if anybody was going to share my addiction for take-out and delivery which spurred my panick attack of THERE IS NO SEAMLESS.COM IN DAYTON, OHIO!

 So I bought groceries...Well, I bought "groceries" because I think I ended up with bananas and mustard...and a case of Diet Coke so...you know...the essentials...

and then as I tried to make conversation on the drive:

Me: So, that bar that's downstairs of our apartment building? They pointed to it on my drive here and said not to go there. Said it was sketchy. I thought they meant college-kids-tryna-sketchy and got excited, but I guess it's like townies-sketchy and was told to never go in there...I wonder why.
Pretty Girl: Yeah, I researched this area and found out someone got shot there a couple of months ago.

Welcome home TJB...welcome home...

Sing me out Carly Rae,

TJB: Making It