How did I get here but more importantly how do I get THERE?

I used to say in college that I was the "almost there kid". You know the one. You have your top three or maybe even top two and you think

(a la Elle Woods)
"It's almost there but..."

That dress was me...only I wasn't hugging the ass of Laura Bell Bundy and her struggling career. I was hugging my own ass and no career.

So when two days had passed since my RENT callback, I assumed I could stop listening to the (coughmoviecough) soundtrack on repeat and focus on my Regional career once again.

AND THEN THEY REMEMBERED HOW AWESOME I AM AND CALLED

That's right, the T-MACHINE wasn't done chewing me like yesterday's leftovers yet. I was asked to come back for the director and creative team.

So yesterday when I sat with my very proud (how far I've come) agent to sign my BAND GEEKS contracts, we chose the window of Starbucks overlooking the stage door of RENT. I could barely focus on the dotted lines as my heart kept hoping these contracts would be useless within 48 hours when I would be ripped away by Michael Greif himself to be yet another Northwestern boy (the last of which I still duck into corners to avoid on 8th Ave.) to star (or at least understudy) in his glorious production.

So with a newly washed bright blue hoodie, I walked my ass through the sweltering heat of Manhattan and up to the casting offices.

NOTE: I was lucky enough to perform after a studly "Collins" from my same agency who had the voice of an African sex god and the body of three African sex gods.

I have the voice of a 16 year old girl and the body of half a 16 year old girl.

Nevertheless, I strutted my lucky skinny jeans into the room, slapped on all the heart I had left and thought of tearing up all future regional contracts to become a REAL New York actor.

and then I GAVE IT.

I pretended I had AIDS and this was the last chance I had to make commentary on America in the last 20th Century or to be a drag queen of questionable origin and percussive skills.

and then it was over...and I thought to myself...

"It's almost there but..."

So who knows world. Will Elle pick me to wear to her failed engagement dinner? That is to say, will Michael Greif pick me to potentially perform as a lead in his musical should one of the real leads be unavailable to perform and hopefully with enough notice for my mom to fly out here?

Only time will tell.

My Mom only cares about the Disney Cruise line,

TJB: Making It