The City That Never Sleeps...but should more...

Here I am on the 1 train inspired to write on my iPhone 4S...

The 1 train? More like the FUN train!

No, JK, it's hell.

But it's 1:42 AM and the train is packed. Mostly young people. Mostly drunk people. Still, the standard fair share of lower-class Latino people.

Those who are standing are too drunk to stay vertical. Those who are sitting are too jaded to allow them to sit.



All of us here together traveling far too far away from the action that is

THE  NYC.

The one we all read about. The one we all dream to live in. The one we all came here for.

The plastered guy next to me just shoved a dude trying to get off the train and shouted "Hey man, whatever, Fuck you! (Now, to his friend) I can't actually move to NYC. I'm not mean enough. Now, people walk straight at me on the streets and refuse to move. It scares me. I mean, eventually they move because I stare them the fuck down but...Fucking New York. I don't know how long I'll last here. But right now I'm doing good. Who knows? I give myself 2-3 years before I crack. I'd love to live in San Fransisco. But the California economy sucks."

OH REALLY?? Because you seem to be doing AWESOME in this NYC economy as an intern traveling to Washington Heights, falling on your ass at 2 AM on a Thursday morning.

But he says he can go skiing and surfing in California. That'll be the day.

....he doesn't know how to surf but claims he'll learn...

Which brings me to THIS America:

Why the FUCK do we choose to live in NYC?

Obviously we're all a little masochistic. Nobody just takes the pain without enjoying it a little.

So we're all sick and perverted. But why else? Even the strongest master/slave relationship doesn't last forever and this D-bag's 2-3 years is FAR too long for pleasure to be the only reason.

Jennifer Hudson's character in the Sex and the City says she moved to NYC to find love. Then, her ass promptly moved back to St. Louis to find love...where it had apparently been all along. So there goes the Sex and the City justification.

It's no secret that I am a HUGE fan of Chicago, IL. When New Yorkers ask me why I like it so much, I say

"It's the people. People in Chicago WANT to live there. They CHOOSE to live there, and they're HAPPY there. People in New York? We all feel like we HAVE to live here."

We live here to PROVE something, to ESCAPE something.

To pay monthly rent and live with 4 strangers that would pay the mortgage on a house in any other city just so we can say "I live in NYC".

To pay for a pastrami sandwich at a deli that would buy us a 3-course dinner at a restaurant in any other city to say "I live in NYC".

In the past year, I have met the most jaded and bitter 24 year old New Yorkers trapped in life while my 50-something Michigander parents are still searching for the next best thing.

So why, New York?

What is it that makes us shove our fellow NYC-ers off the train and say, "Fuck you!"

What is it that makes us laugh at tourists for looking up in awe?

What is it that makes us stay?

What are we chasing? What are we running away from?

I recently gave my agent a due date. September 15. That is the day that I go BAT SHIT CRAZY if something in my life hasn't changed. Oh yes, he put it in his phone...I think it's a droid...so I'm not sure if it will ever remind him...

but I'll know. I will wake up on that day and either say

"This is it! I love this place!"

or

"This is it! Get me the FUCK out!"

So be ready New York...because I'm on to you...I almost left once, and this time, I'm SERIOUS.

Don't say I didn't give you a chance, because for centuries, you've been tricking people into accepting mediocrity just to say

"I <3 NY".

That's right, I saw Mad Men...AND I read The Great Gatsby.

This would have been easier to type on a Blackberry,


TJB: Making It