blaming you is easier.

I don't think you understand how serious I am when I say:

I am the matchmaker of my generation.

But seriously...

I currently have one successful long-term relationship in existence along with two shorter-but-defenitely-potentially-long-term relationships in the making. ALL HETEROSEXUAL.

Unfortunately, one boy is leaving for Austria and the other boy is too SELF-IMPORTANT TO REALIZE HE NEEDS AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN!

I don't mean to put any pressure on the people I've introduced, but seriously, you're all perfect for each other...and I want to speak at your wedding...because I love a microphone...

I just KNOW people. Maybe saying that makes ME self-important. But I think I'm right.

then again, I've been spending most of my nights with a 6-pack of beer re-watching the Harry Potter  saga....

So something must be off.

What is it that makes us so capable of seeing the positive in other people's relationships, but in our own, we just see...

desperateness?

So in an attempt to educate myself, I went out today to buy Sex and the City. The book. It was pink. It was expensive. But DAMMIT I am going to crack this city and all its relationships have to offer.

I'm also going to copy Candace Bushnell's format to write my own book. Don't worry Candace, I'll cite you.

So tonight, I was so thrilled when a guy I've been interested in for years finally met up for drinks. He left a group of people he was having dinner with to meet me and then invited me to a party he was attending so I figured he was pretty into me too.

This was it! This was the perfect start to Sex and the City.

Then, he referenced the first person that "wanted to have sex with him".

Then, he referenced the second person that "wanted to have sex with him".

Then, we were waiting to see if the guy that "wanted to have sex with him" was going to meet up with us.

When he didn't, we were avoiding the photographer that "wanted to have sex with him".

And suddenly, I was wondering how you can live in NYC for 6 weeks and have so many people that "want to have sex with you". Maybe I should start reading that book...

And suddenly, I was wondering why I was sitting on a rooftop in Midtown Manhattan on a leather sofa all alone chewing on ice-cubes waiting to talk to the boy that so many people "wanted to have sex with".

Then, while I mustered the self-respect to walk out and wait for a train, I wondered if all those times I said "It's me, not you" if maybe it really was ME and not THEM...

So I'm going home this Thursday to Michigan to be with my family. But honestly, sometimes being around my parents is infuriating...to see two people be so happy together while I'm trying to get a drink with the boy everyone "wants to have sex with".

But while I'm home, I hope to be rejuvenated. I hope to remember why I moved away from the small town with all the white crosses in front yards and appreciate the BIG APPLE filled with boys that everyone seemingly "wants to have sex with" while I chew on ice cubes in the corner.

Maybe I'll return to NYC at square one. Maybe I'll return with some new understanding of personal relationships.

Maybe I'll return with an angry Facebook message from the boy everyone "wants to have sex with".

Regardless...

If you're EVER the reason I'm sitting on a leather sofa alone in Midtown Manhattan

you're an idiot.

Sorry you had to read this Mom,

TJB: Making It