Happy Endings JK BYE

As soon as you say you're finished, everything starts beginning. So naturally, as I began to pack my suitcase for the big move to Chicago, auditions started rolling in.

Back in the spring, I had a pretty slamming audition for Disney Cruise Lines. Well, apparently not TOO slamming because they didn't cast me, but they DID say they wanted me to play Woody in Toy Story the Musical as soon as they needed a replacement. I missed an opportunity soon after while I was being sassy and gay in Ohio, but FINALLY, they called me in this week.

And then they never called me again. Maybe I was still too sassy and gay.

But then I got called in to play a sassy and gay character in a new play. I thought, "GREAT! Screw Disney! I can be off-Broadway."

The casting director had called my agent to ask if I was funny. I always think it's funny when people ask if I'm funny because "funny" is pretty relative and, I feel, depends a lot on the material and situation

...and the fact that this character only has 4 lines...

But yeah, sure, I'm funny.

But apparently not funny enough (or maybe not sassy and gay enough) since they also never called me again.

But then I got called in for a commercial.

Or, I should say,

But then I got called in for a BLACK HISTORY MONTH commercial.

My initial response to my agent was, "Do they know I'm white?" I was assured they did, in fact, know I was white.

Without wanting to lose a good story, I went in for it...and harmonized a version of "Lean on Me" a cappella, with Mariah Carey, Luther Vandross, and Brian McKnight.

or at least they may as well have been because THAT'S how much more qualified they were to be there.

We sang the verses over and over for 10 minutes while being filmed just "hanging out". Needless to say, I don't think you'll be seeing me on your television plugging Verizon Wireless any time this coming February. Maybe I wasn't white enough to be the token white kid, or maybe I wasn't black enough to promote an entire month dedicated to the history of a race.

And then my agent told me he quit.

So Merry Christmas America, from me and the closing of my career in NYC.

And even though I'm finished, I assure you IT's just beginning.

My apartment hasn't had heat for two weeks,

TJB: Making It