Balls

Believe it or not, I played a lot of sports growing up. Sure, I also danced and wore a lot of sequined vests
(they eventually won out), but I could hold my own on the court. In fact, I was that kid whose dad coached everything. There was nothing worse as a pre-teen than everybody thinking your dad was cool.

I had one of those daydreams recently where I stared blankly at the wall replaying every I-should've-had-it-in-the-bag moments over the past years, until I realized I still had shampoo in my hair and hadn't even lifted the loofah. As much as I try to avoid regret and emotions at all costs, I was sucked back into a string of if-only-I-had-justs. 

We get a lot of advice in life. Unfortunately, the people giving advice don't have to deal with the consequences. If the advice works out, great. They can say, "I told you so." If the advice doesn't work out, you're left to say, "I should've trusted my gut," months later while standing in the shower with John Frieda Sheer Blonde running down your face. 

But there's one piece of advice that has yet to fail me ever since it was shouted from the dugout by a pretty cool coach (though I rolled my eyes 12 years ago).

"If you're going to strike out, strike out swinging."

Full count. You could take your chances and stand still, hope the pitcher buckles under stress, and slowly walk to first base. But that leaves the call to the umpire.  If you decide to swing, you could hit a homerun. Sure, you might miss, but at least you'll look like a badass with a bat who made your own call. 

To get back to gay, I realized - as I was subtly lightening my hair with expensive salon products - that too often in the past have I allowed the umpire to make the call. What to wear, what to sing, what to say, I let the pitch pass and hoped for the walk. Sad to say, it's resulted in a lot of walks back to the dugout. 

So eighteen days into 2014, I've finally found my resolution. This year, I will strike out swinging

and hope for a homerun. 

And I'll drink a lot of Capri Suns, 

TJB: Making It