If you've never driven across the country, DON'T.
Well, do. Just don't fill your four cylinder with a lifetime of belongings, no matter how humble your existence may be.
Colorado is beautiful - I'll give it that - but thinking I was going to die once was plenty. Then, I spent another 7 hours positive that I was going to die. Mountains are scary shit.
Hey, did you know there's an entire section of this country where you get ZERO cellphone service? It's 2014. I had to climb a mountain just to send a text. Utah: who knew?
Then you hit Nevada and you're like, "Why did we ever want this place?" It's hot and everything looks colored with a dried up magic marker, minus the magic. Plant some trees, New York did it.
As soon as I hit the California border, I thought I was in the clear, but apparently Los Angeles is the only city in this part of the state. Everything east of here is just the semi-greener version of Nevada. Don't get excited until the highway is eight lanes and seven speed limits are observed.
Still, I'm thrilled I made it. I was not thrilled I couldn't shower for three days, but the amount of testosterone I gained from camping in the canyons will come in handy in West Hollywood. Those gays know where the gym is. They also know where the bathroom is, if you know what I mean. I'm just saying that I pee a lot, but those boys "pee A LOT".
But until I find some semblance of employment and a floor of my own to sleep on, I'm not pointing fingers. The city has been nothing but welcoming (minus the parking ticket and simultaneous over-yet-under-signage).
Sorry, I'm cranky, there are only juice stores here.
Juice is worse than soup,
TJB: Making It
No comments:
Post a Comment