V.I.Me

Tomorrow, I have an audition for a PLAY. It's a production in Brooklyn that wouldn't pay me but...wait...why am I...

is this desperation?

Well, I might as well make the most of it.

The character is "an attractive, straightforward male hustler". Now, you'd think I would have a lot of experience in this field seeing as I've been in NYC for a whole month, but I'm going to pretend I don't. So I decided to try out some method acting this weekend.

As any method actor knows...well...ok I'm not entirely sure how method acting works (maybe I should've gone to a conservatory) but I know that it has to do with living like the character or viewpoints or operative words...ANYWAY

So I found a Sugar Mama.

Her name was Miss Green. She met me after work promptly at 5pm and from that point on it was VIP treatment. We went to happy hour at a posh bar, dinner at a trendy restaurant, and then checked in to a luxury hotel in Midtown East. She toted me around like her Adonis, and boy did she shell out the dough. This was GREAT! Not only was I being treated like a king, I was practicing my craft.

Miss Green made a call to the front desk to ensure that the Concierge Lounge was ready for our arrival and would have our specified cocktails ready. And then it happened:

they told her the Concierge Lounge was CLOSED.

EXCUSE ME?! This was Saturday night and the staff had NO idea who they were dealing with. Sure, I LOOKED like an escort, but really I'm a future award-winning actor and SHE'S and extremely successful young business woman and you're going to tell us the lounge will re-open TOMORROW?!

Let's just say there's a certain hotel on 49th and Lexington that will be receiving a strongly-worded letter.

The night ended in a packed dance club where we were greeted by the party promoter who tried to swoop me as his own escort. Miss Green made it very clear I would be going home with her, but allowed him to buy me a few drinks as well. Just. Kept. Getting. Better.

Carrie Bradshaw should've reconsidered this lifestyle.

But since this was method acting, I knew when I woke up the next morning with my angelic head resting on a plush down pillow it would all be over. I'd be trekking across Manhattan, back to my 9-5, pockets empty, once again.

VIP can't last forever.

Oh wait, yes it can, because I'm me.

Thank GOD I'm pretty,

TJB: Making It