Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head...oh wait it's pee

I've received a lot of comments recently about how my blog makes my life seem really exciting...even more exciting than the lives of my readers (who are probably financially stable and can afford to eat at least two meals a day).

I'm not sure my readers are really grasping the honest truth of this blog...so let me put something in perspective for those of you who are "non-actors" or "real people" as I like to call them ("professionals" and "those who live happily past 29" are also acceptable).

Pretend you are starving. Pretend you are broke, panicking, living in a small room and, hell, perhaps even sharing a bed with someone you'd only met twice. You are tens of thousands of dollars in debt and you're only weeks out of college...in fact, you attended one of the top universities in the nation and you still remember the days when you were acing Calc. exams.

(now breathe and remember this is all hypothetical...for you)

You need a job and you need a job BAD.

JUST THEN! You see a posting for a job that you are perfect for. You know in your heart and soul nobody could do this job better than you could. But you realize the job isn't even offering to pay you...YOU DON'T CARE! Your entire being yearns to work and you must get this job.

You score an interview. Weeks before they send you materials to prepare.

What's this?! They send you a large paragraph of text. The text is a story. They want you to tell the story at the interview. This particular story is about a time you went on a date with an older gentleman who pretended to be interested in you just so he could take you home, remove your clothing, put you in his bathtub, and pee on you. Then, he tells you you're disgusting and to leave so he can go to bed.

You're a little embarrassed, but you give it your all and for weeks you memorize and practice telling this story to anyone who will listen regardless of the public shame.

The day of your interview arrives and you show up early, motivated, ready to win. You're called in to meet the bosses and you perform like the little dancing pissed on monkey they thought you were just from seeing a picture of your face.

...and then they don't give you the job...they don't give you the job that wasn't even going to pay...in fact, they don't even give you a second interview for the job...

Still think my life is more exciting?
OK YEAH IT KIND OF IS.

Look away Mom,

TJB: Making It