maybe i've lost it at last

I've often said the hours of 3-6AM should not exist because nothing GOOD ever happens between the hours of 3-6AM.

Let's just say I've been seeing a lot of 3-6AM recently.

Whether it's waking up to serve breakfast or falling asleep covered in McDonald's wrappers with 30 Rock in the background ...(still not over that audition)...

nothing GOOD has been happening.

You'll notice there was no follow up post to my most recent post...which...should fill you in on how that post went.

So here we are again America in the Summer of Stuck 2012.

Like any good Musical Theatre student, I try to relate my life to a character from a show and discover ways to overcome my obstacles through their stories.

But when that character feels more and more like bi-polar mother Diana Goodman from Next to Normal, I'm left wondering if pouring out my over-the-counter allergy pills into my mesh waste basket while singing about mountains is really helping me overcome anything other than a box of Kleenex. 

So I went back to the OBC recording (Original Broadway Cast for you normal people...you might relate to "soundtrack") to see what I could find. 

Sorry, "DISCOVER" as we say in acting...

And then it hit me. There, at the end of the show, once I'm sufficiently saturated with tears she gave me exactly what I needed.

"They say you should stay with the devil you know / but when life needs a change / and the one devil won't / you fly to the devil you don't."

That's IT America!! Diana was trapped in her own emotional turmoil of feeling stuck in life, so what did she do?

SHE PACKED UP AND LEFT!!

Whow, wait, calm down, NO, I am not moving to Chicago. I tried that once already.

But I am far too dedicated to this role portrayal to turn back now, so I'm packing up and leaving.

TO ASTORIA!

Tomorrow.

I mean, I've been there once and everybody seems to be generally happy and white, and what more of a change than my miserable barrio in Puerto Rican Harlem?

"So anyway, I'm leaving / I thought you'd like to know / You're faithful come what may / but clearly I can't stay / we'd both go ..." ok sorry I'm done.

Here's to semi-new beginnings!

Oh shit what was I thinking,

TJB: Making It