The Rise of Fall

I thought my television career was over.

Hell, I thought my entire  career was over. But just as I had begun to wonder where the Fall audition season was amidst the frigid air and Pumpkin Spice Lattes,

my agency pulled through.

And not even just my agent who actually knows my name (and race for that matter), but the AGENT-agent of the agency. The old man in charge whose e-mails are in 24 pt. font who sends nothing more personal than "Let me know if this works for you".

So when I received an appointment for my favorite show a show called SMASH

Oh yeah, that worked for me.

I'll be honest (to you, not to the casting director) that I watched the first episode of this show, HATED it (because it made me feel like I was at work in the sense that it reminded me I wasn't working), and never watched it again.

But to the casting director, I LOVE THIS SHOW!

I showed up half an hour early still riding off the bad karma of my first television audition. Thankfully, this audition was not at 30 Rock, so I didn't have to sprint up 50 floors in case of emergency.

Instead, I had to sit in Broadway's biggest casting office and listen to child actors more successful than I am belt out their inner anguish through the lyrics of Adele and Bruno Mars.

Oh, to be 10 again...

And as I sat listening to prepubescent heartache, I began to realize that I recognized quite a few too many adult faces from Playbill.com

This game again.

I guess I should start to feel flattered and expect that I'm continuously called in amongst those actors who are not waiting tables, but when everyone knows each other from last night's Jonathan Robert Brown-Gealt cabaret and you're still getting the half-hearted smile and "oh, you again" stare

you just wanna book a Mormon a black eye.

But instead of throwing punches, I just sat and prepared and remained calm, because the worse that could happen was that I heard "No" again, and my emotional Novocaine had already numbed that sensation.

I mean, NBC already reads my blog so who needs a show.

OH WAIT, I  DO.

At the call of my name, I went in and gave the classic 30 second result of 30 hours of stress and walked out feeling

good.

GREAT in fact, because I know I'm pretty and can read and that's all TV really is.

So I went to get a Pumpkin Spice Latte to celebrate the start of my fall audition season. And as I stepped out of Starbucks and turned the corner into the frigid air of 8th Ave., I raised the sweet smell of Autumn to my lips and

the large woman in front of me thrust her left arm into the air to adjust her purse and elbowed my coffee straight into my face.

And as I felt the hot liquid fall from my face to the fabric of my favorite white shirt, I closed my eyes to take it all in.

When I reopened my eyes to lean forward and wipe the coffee from my nose and chin, the woman turned around and gave a very sincere "I'm sorry".

I put the lid back onto my latte, gave her a shrug, smiled and said,

"It's New York. It happens."

and continued down 8th Avenue, covered in coffee, loving life.

Fame burns,

TJB: Making It