hotel, motel, but holiday inn is too swanky

this is real.

Before we hit the road, we were given a very in depth speech about the DOs and DON'Ts of the tour. One of the most useless rules was "DO NOT PICK UP ANY ROADIES"...as if we could fit another limb into our van...

BUT OOPS we sort of broke the rules. While we didn't pick up any "roadies", we did pick up...

bedbugs.

OH AWESOME! Not only were we staying at the bottom of the bottom of hotel chains (the only thing that separates a Super 8 from a Motel 6 is a snack machine) two of our cast mates met some bedbugs down home in a stunning Tennessee Days Inn. How's that for a hotel recommendation?

Now, let's be clear, some of this is speculation. Did we actually find any physical bed bugs? No. But were two of my cast mates covered in trios of bites that closely resembled a quick Google image search? YES.

and in today's world, that's all the proof you need.

Panic ensued. We quarantined the cast mates in their own hotel room from there on and alerted the staff of the new St. Louis hotel which gassed their room and assuredly burned their bedding. They threw all of their clothing into extremely hot dryers to kill the parasites and bought every anti-bite cream Walgreens could legally sell them.

We even set off a 4 hour bug bomb in our van which I'm sure we're still breathing the fumes of as my lungs are shrinking...but hey...isn't that what worker's comp is for?

So as you're sleeping tight on your pillow top queen mattress tonight America...just think...

I'm in the middle of Wisconsin with bloody handprints on the walls which make bedbugs the LEAST of my worries. The road to fame is not a safe one kids...

and I laugh in the face of danger!

JK I'm sobbing,

TJB: Making It