For the past month or so, I've spent every free minute I've had re-watching every season of 30 Rock. I have been living, breathing, and eating...while watching 30 Rock.
One night I came back to the apartment to find my roommates pasting pictures to poster boards. They were "vision boarding". Apparently, that's when you cut things out from magazines and glue them to a a poster board to hang on your wall and inspire you for the coming year to help you reach those goals.
Yes, they all have BFAs.
But since I had a B.A. (Ok, a Bachelors of Science, but BS sounds so crude...) I felt OK and slightly elitist enough to join.
The first picture I pasted on it?
A promo picture for 30 Rock.
So when I got a call from my Agent-That's-Not-My-Agent-But-Is-Increacingly-More-My-Agent that went like this:
"Hey Tyler. So I have an audition for you tomorrow. It's for a little show called 30 Rock"
YOU CAN IMAGINE I FREAKED!
Even better: the character breakdown.
"JEROME: 18-21. Blonde. Gay. Very attractive and self-centered. Acts quite a bit like JENNA (Jane Krakowski)."
The description should have just said
"JEROME: 18-TJB. TJB. TJB. Very TJB. Acts quite a bit like TJB (TJB). Seriously, just call TJB."
So I started my day off on top of my game. I left the apartment with more than an hour to spare and hit the subway with a spring in my step.
A few stops later I realized I had forgotten my headshot and résumé. My heart stopped. My day could now go two ways:
1. I could show up incredibly early without it and look completely unprepared.
2. I could go back since I had plenty of time and risk something terrible happening that makes me late and end up with them never even asking me for it.
WHAT? Number 2 sounded like quite the plot set up.
I ran to the street and hailed a cab back to the apartment...and then hit every red light on the way.
Once I grabbed my backpack I had exactly half an hour to get to the audition...the perfect amount of time.
So...I got on a train and it was delayed due to high traffic. AWESOME OH PERFECT BECAUSE I REALLY NEEDED ANOTHER BLOG POST.
As I crawled through each station I kept checking my watch (and by that I mean phone, but for literary purposes, watch sounds better). Every person who bumped into me had no idea how close to their death they had just come. I was ON EDGE and about to jump.
As I hit the 10 minute mark I had two new options.
1. Make it to the right station and run across Times Square to Rockefeller Plaza which would get me there on time but covered in sweat.
2. Run back up to the street and hail a cab which could easily get me there on time if there was zero traffic, but if there was any traffic I would probably get stuck in it far too long, causing me to get out and run anyway.
What? The number 2 is sure hitting its mark today with plot advancing.
So I jumped in the cab and said "GET ME TO 30 ROCK AS FAST AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE" as if this man knew Tina Fey was hanging in the balance.
And as we rounded the first corner we came to a stand-still...so now I was forced to do the embarrassing.
I had to call my Agent-Who's-Not-Really-My-Agent-And-Will-Now-Be-Even-Less-Of-My-Agent and tell him what happened.
He sounded incredibly understanding...so...that's not really helping my plot...so...pretend he didn't answer.
The cab made it a few blocks away when we hit another huge line of traffic and I told him to pull over and let me out.
"I'LL JUST HAVE TO RUN!" I said in my best Manhattan Action Movie voice.
I got out and began sprinting down 5th Avenue and turned the corner onto 49th. As I stopped to catch my breath and find my destination, I looked up to see...no Rockafeller Plaza.
I HAD BEEN SPRINTING IN THE WRONG DIRECTION!!!
I turned around to search the sky and found it behind me. With tears in my eyes, I forged on.
I sprinted into the lobby, checked in at NBC and rode the elevator up in shame.
And when I showed up to casting? They acted like it was no big deal and probably for the best since 10 minutes before that the room was packed....
which isn't really good for my plot so...let's pretend that the intern had to beg for me to be seen...
SO...I auditioned for my favorite TV show knowing that in 12 hours I could be sitting in hair and make-up waiting for my BIG BREAK!
And since I should still be filming and yet I'm here writing my blog I can confidently say that there must be a way cuter 18-21 year old blonde gay boy in NYC...
and he's my new FRENEMY!
My bank account is crying,
TJB: Making It
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