Your face called...soccer practice is over...it's time to pick it up...

I always say (or at least I do now) that if your ego needs to be put in check, just take a trip to Midtown. Hell's Kitchen. The Theatre District. Three minutes walking those streets and you'll be reminded that you are a NOBODY and you will STAY that way.

I was bored today around 1 PM and decided that I should really get a move on this "having an agent" business. I had met with an agency earlier this week that seemed eager to once again send me in for that Broadway show I refuse to advertise for (dont' worry it's on Tuesday and I'm on the road so f-ing KILL ME), but wanted to play the age old waiting game on signing any papers. So for now, I'm still a free (and not by choice) man.

Like any actor who has a dip in self respect, I did not choose to mail off my photos to the many offices of the biz. Oh no. Instead, I took one sad look in the mirror and signed up for an Actor's Connection Q&A.

For those normally employed readers, I would compare this to attending a job fair held at a local community college with employers who aren't really looking to hire anybody but are getting paid to set up a booth and smile at your blind optimism.

Five minutes after I clicked "SUBMIT" I regretted what I had done. But my credit card had been charged and I was stuck...I would have to prepare myself.

I took a nap hoping I would wake up and think it was a dream. That didn't work. So I threw on a cardigan, popped some ibuprofen to kill the pain in my soul, and waltzed to the subway.

As the subway approached 110th (aka halfway to Hell), a young gentleman eyed me from the platform. I guess he was sort of cute, but I mustered all the ego I had left and gave him one of those "sorry you wish but I'm taken" glances. He entered my car anyway and stood next to me.

And then the two young girls standing next to me said the most embarrassing thing in the world.

"Excuse me...were you in Spring Awakening?"

Now, I know you're thinking they were talking to me because during my half hearted chuckle, I was too.

They were not.

"Yeah actually, I was..." said the fresh-out-of-bed-haired gent.

GREAT. Not only could he probably smell the Actors Connection on me, but he continued to talk about his career...good for you...jerk.

I got off a stop early and walked just so my self-confidence could breathe.

I had some time to kill so I stopped at Starbucks for a hot tea (it's what we singers drink). On my way there I saw fellow NU alumna Adam Kantor sauntering to his job at Avenue Q. I couldn't handle another "I have a career" run-in so I dove into an alcove and pretended to be on the phone so he wouldn't see me...not that he would have even recognized me...

What. Is. My. Life?

At this point, I seriously considered turning around and breaking into the bottle of vodka I had left in the freezer...but NO I would not be defeated.

Well, turns out I was pretty defeated in the end anyway. After sitting through a Q&A with some scAMDA crazies (class of 1992) I left singing for the agent feeling as if I could have saved myself $200K these past four years...

and now, as I sit here watching my new roommates decorate their Christmas tree singing along to carols with voices better than mine, I remember what this season is really about...

drinking yourself piss drunk until January 1 when you promise yourself 2012 will be better.

BRING IT 2012,

TJB: Making It