The Mayor of this town won the election by checking in on foursquare

I have a few issues with West Virginia:

1. It is the dumbest shaped state of all 50. My theory is that someone gave Michael J. Fox a pen and said "draw a circle on this here map" and BAM...we have West Virginia. After Regular Virginia realized there was nothing significant (and I mean NOTHING significant) within Mr. Fox's ill-drawn (though surely determined) circle, they shrugged their shoulders and figured they were no worse off.

2. I am currently in Lewisburg, WV which was apparently voted "America's Coolest Small Town" of 2011. I'm not sure who was voting on America's Coolest Small Town of 2011 as there are no asterisks on ANY of the signs to inform me of their citations, so my guess is the great people of Lewisburg put up the signs and figured nobody who wasn't born and raised here would ever venture in and dispute the award. THEY WERE WRONG!

3. Google maps will tell you the McDonald's here is across the street. LIES. But Google never bothered to come to West Virginia anyway and never thought anyone would ever use Google maps to find anything in West Virginia because NOBODY LIVES HERE and the people who do are probably still using AskJeeves. Anyway, once you find the nearest McDonald's, you'll realize it is under construction. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

4. Because of Equity rules, I must do laundry here every day. In order to reach the laundromat, you must go 3 miles on a street one way, travel east across the fields, and come back two miles the way you came. The clientele of BJ's (don't be fooled by the name because I was there an hour and received no such gift) apparently wash their laundry once a year. However, the nice woman in charge of the establishment did say something about pot. Oh she said "pop"? No...I think she said pot...

5. If you walk down the main street of the alleged coolest small town in America, you will notice some very prominent Confederate flags...then you'll notice some very prominent rainbow flags...then you'll notice some people who look like they should be waving confederate flags waving rainbow flags or vice-a-verse and you'll climb back into your big white rapist van VERY confused...

and let me round out my rant with this...

Dear West Virginia,

If you ever want this country to take you seriously...

JK that's never going to happen.

Oh crap Ohio's next,

TJB: Making It