There have been so many times in my still recent life that I've been going to bed when the sun is rising...and oh how I miss college for that reason.So you can imagine how waking up at the ass-crack of dawn...scratch that we weren't even at the ass-crack yet...was WAY less fun. I dragged myself out of bed at 4:15a.m. to warsh my weave n' powder my nose. I grabbed my caffeine on the way to the train and pumped myself up for opening day.
As usual, I was the first one to the meeting site (SO PROFESH). I took the time to begin warming up my belt like a true diva and waited for the others. Two were not far behind me, followed by the stage manager. We were picking one cast bro up on the way, so 5 minutes before departure time, that just meant we were waiting for one! We were on a GREAT start to the first day!
Then five minutes passed and 6 a.m. hit. Some phone calls were made. The phone was off.
Five more minutes passed. More calls were made. An urgent voicemail was left. Phone still off.
Ten more minutes passed. Angry voicemails were left. Phone still off.
The three punctual cast members tried to remain positive by spraying the interior of the ghetto van with its only-opens-from-the-outside back door and questionably-stained seats. However, there was no saving the stage manager. As she "made some calls", we turned the other cheek.
The present cast had already made it into reviewing Broadway dance calls by the time half an hour passed and the stage manager was forced to contact higher powers. As this was our first show and there were no understudies, we were told our only option was to wait for the missing member.
Once an hour passed, it seemed that all hope was lost. We sat collapsed in the van as the sun rose, already two hours after we had risen from our beauty sleep...and the beauty was crackin fast.
And then the phone rang. The missing piece was finally awake...and terrified...and rightfully so.
"GET IN A CAB" were the only words spoken to him. Twenty minutes later, he was shoved in the van and away we went...speechless...horrified and 2 hours from showtime. Plans were made to abbreviate the set-up and expedite the process of load-in. The venue was notified and all our fingernails had been nervously chewed before we even hit the highway.
As we approached the exit to pick up the final cast member, the worst happened. The venue cancelled. All oxygen in the decrepit van seemed to seep out its cracks. Perhaps that's what the questionable drip stains on the interior fabric were...hope.
We pulled off the highway for coffee and donuts with the final cast member. We hung our heads in embarrassment. I stepped in dog poop. It was the saddest collection of small-budget theatre in the tri-state area. After an hour of convincing ourselves we still had a reason to live, we piled back in the van and returned to NYC...at least we tried...somehow we ended up Jersey for a hot second...that GWB is misleading.
Then I got us VIP tickets to David Letterman and we had margaritas because THAT'S HOW I ROLL BITCH.
Should've booked Junie B. Jones Bumfuk, CT. Sorry bout it.
Cross your fingers Tuesday,
TJB: Making It
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